Yet, I couldn't help myself. After revising, and after comments from my chief editor -- Joan, my wife -- I now have come up with a problem -- the last line of the copy.
So, Dear Reader, would you care to offer your opinion? I am happy with the way the paragraphs below are written, but the last phrase of the last line is giving me pause. What do you think?
GREAT HEATS BACK COVER COPY – 11.11.10
Living among the beauty of ancient mounds and earthworks a thousand years ago, the people of the Village of Ohi’yo enjoyed an idyllic life. Village women cared for their families, shared farming duties, and were responsible for choosing the chief, while men protected the village and hunted for game. Yet, with each new sunrise, change was in the air, threatening the village in ways that they could not understand.
Young Heron, tall and artistic, has met his love, Lone Bird, a young woman from another clan living in his village. The two unite in the moving Ceremony of One, but secrets from his past create tragic circumstances, keeping them apart, except for occasional covert and passionate meetings.
As time passes, rain and snowfall decrease in the region, while the summer’s heat increases and lengthens. The fertile and replenishing floods of the two rivers gradually halt their annual immersions. Insects emerge from the drying ground to attack the village crops; deer begin moving away, as coyotes move in; people start to leave, following the deer. The village way of life is in jeopardy.
Against this backdrop, Young Heron finally sees hope for a normal life, as he reunites with his family. In a shocking moment, the secrets, kept hidden for decades, confront Young Heron, and the conclusion seems predestined to be tragic. Years later, the results of this man’s life are revealed in a surprising way.
Great Heats – a novel of historic fiction, rich in detail, and replete with human nature.
"replete with human nature" -- is that too pithy? I am torn because I want a line to dispel any thought that something written about a people who lived 1000 years ago will be difficult to read because their unfamiliar culture will get in the way of understanding the story. Yet it seems
in reading it that I am inviting the reaction -- "well, of course, archaeology breath -- they are people like you and me -- riiiight?"
Living among the beauty of ancient mounds and earthworks a thousand years ago, the people of the Village of Ohi’yo enjoyed an idyllic life. Village women cared for their families, shared farming duties, and were responsible for choosing the chief, while men protected the village and hunted for game. Yet, with each new sunrise, change was in the air, threatening the village in ways that they could not understand.
Young Heron, tall and artistic, has met his love, Lone Bird, a young woman from another clan living in his village. The two unite in the moving Ceremony of One, but secrets from his past create tragic circumstances, keeping them apart, except for occasional covert and passionate meetings.
As time passes, rain and snowfall decrease in the region, while the summer’s heat increases and lengthens. The fertile and replenishing floods of the two rivers gradually halt their annual immersions. Insects emerge from the drying ground to attack the village crops; deer begin moving away, as coyotes move in; people start to leave, following the deer. The village way of life is in jeopardy.
Against this backdrop, Young Heron finally sees hope for a normal life, as he reunites with his family. In a shocking moment, the secrets, kept hidden for decades, confront Young Heron, and the conclusion seems predestined to be tragic. Years later, the results of this man’s life are revealed in a surprising way.
Great Heats – a novel of historic fiction, rich in detail, and replete with human nature.
"replete with human nature" -- is that too pithy? I am torn because I want a line to dispel any thought that something written about a people who lived 1000 years ago will be difficult to read because their unfamiliar culture will get in the way of understanding the story. Yet it seems
in reading it that I am inviting the reaction -- "well, of course, archaeology breath -- they are people like you and me -- riiiight?"
What do you think? rdgiles@chesco.com or Facebook or here, although the comments function here is spotty.
Thanks, and I hope that your day is replete with happiness.
Sounds good to me but I don't know what "replete" or "pithy" mean.
ReplyDelete