New Jersey Diners

For those of you who have never experienced a New Jersey Diner, let me give you my impressions. New Jersey Diners are stand-alone restaurants located on main thoroughfares – not inside malls, not attached to a Motel and with no car hops. Many Diners started in the 1950’s and may have a corrugated stainless steel look, reminiscent of the old railroad dining cars. Most of them are not 50’s themed and are devoid of decoration, except the first dollar they ever earned, likely signed by Geo. B. Humphrey, President Eisenhower’s first Secretary of the Treasury.

A Diner’s menu is extensive, perhaps with 150-200 items, including goods baked on the premises. It will feature Jersey produce, and also local delicacies such as Trenton Pork Roll, a sandwich of Liverwurst, Onion and Cheese, as well as Boiled (sic) Half Chicken.

The waitresses are generally not college-aged young women, but mature women who have worked at the diner for 20 years, or more, and know most of the locals who inhabit the place; these patrons mostly sit on the same stool or booth every time they come in. “Hi Bill/Roy/Al/Ted/etc. How ya doing taday?” is the greeting.

I wonder if Ted sat on the fourth stool instead of the second one, if anyone would know his correct name. “Most definitely,” comes the answer.

The big wide double doors going back to the kitchen are bi-directional doors. The one on the right has a big “In” painted on it and nothing in the other door, except on its reverse, kitchen side where a big “In” is painted, also. There is a careful choreography around those doors as the waitresses and the young men who carry dirty or clean dishes pass through them. No bumps, no close calls, no dropped dishes, no words either
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If you are a politician in New Jersey, you have to able to make it in your District’s Diners. Eggs are not the only things that can get fried there. The locals are pretty rough on the Trenton big-wigs. “Whaddya gonna do to help the Oysterman?” “I pay so much taxes I got no more blood left – the Red Cross won't call me any more because you got it all!” “No dollar from gambling’s ever helped me?”

Fast service, slow talking, fair prices, good food and knowing your name when you walk in the door brings the folks back to the Diner, year after year.

“What'll you have today? The usual?" she asks.

“Yeah, I’ll have the Banana Belgian Waffle with a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream and Whipped Cream, and don’t forget the powdered sugar. Oh, how bout some Jersey Blueberries?”

“Coming right up, Bill/Roy/Al/Ted.”